Losing My Religion

By Kevin B. Howell

Remember that old R.E.M song, Losing My Religion? I wasn’t into them that much, so I don't really know what the song was about, though it had a catchy hook. But for me, "Losing my religion" is a process I've been going through the past year or so, sort of a purging you might say. And the key word of the phrase is my.

There are many different connotations of religion—some negative, some positive. There's what the Bible calls "pure religion" (taking care of orphans & widows and being unspotted from the world); and there's religion viewed as rigid, traditional, strict and formulaic. I've always been instructed and inclined to avoid the latter expression of religion in my faith walk, convinced and confident that true spirituality was a relationship with God, which I had…until my relationship became religious.

losing my religion I would have never expected it to happen to me, but looking back, I see I how it did. See in relationships, such as a romantic one, there are certain actions that draw you closer to each other and express your love—for example, phone conversations (and text messages), dates, flowers and love letters, all that good stuff. Now, as a relationship matures those actions can grow stale if the individuals focus on the actions of affection instead of the object of affection. That's what happened to me. For years I tried to perfect a pattern that would make me a strong Christian: daily Bible study, prayer, worship, confession and intercession. Necessary disciplines? Yes. Conducive to spiritual growth? Absolutely. But what happens when on most mornings you fall asleep face-first in the Bible...and in the middle of prayer your mind wanders for 30 minutes and you lose your train of thought. See, the disciplines got me to a certain stage in my spiritual walk, but depending on them as some magical faith formula eventually failed me. I hit a wall. And my daily routine became more of a burden than a blessing. I had created a rigid, monotonous religion.

So I've been in a new process, one of unlearning and habit-breaking. Understanding that God simply wants heart-to-heart conversations rather than me reciting scripture. He rather have 30 seconds of honesty than 30 minutes of rhetoric I call worship. I'm learning to delight in the Object of my affection in a disciplined freedom. I think author Donald Miller summed it up best in his book, Searching for God Knows What:

"Some would say formulas are how we interact with God, that going through motions and jumping through hoops are how a person acts out his spirituality. This method of interaction, however, seems odd to me because if I want to hang out with my friend Tuck, I don’t stomp my foot three times, turn around and say his name over and over like a mantra, lighting candles and getting myself in a certain mood. I just call him. In this way, formulas presuppose God is more a computer or a circus monkey than an intelligent Being. I realize that sounds harsh, but it is true."

So true. And I finally get it. Yet every day, I still need to be reminded to lose my religion.

Kevin is the founder and editor of Transparency magazine. Feel free to email Kevin at kevin@transparencymag.com

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Name: Ferd
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Date posted: December 17, 2009 - 01:18 am
Message: I like this article Kev, it hits the point right on the head. I can most definitely relate and apply this, thanks man.

Name: Jairo Giraldo
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Date posted: August 11, 2009 - 02:53 pm
Message: I have a big problem with the word RELIGION. It reminds me of rules and regulations that people boast about but can't keep. There is nothing more amazing than when you realize how tangible your relationship with God can get and He begins to speak to your heart. Just like every other relationship in our lives, we have to put effort and time into it or it will eventually get stale and whats worse, become a RELIGION.

Name: Jenn Watson
E-mail: Private
Date posted: August 07, 2009 - 04:50 pm
Message: LUV this article Kev! Def on point... it's not about "religion" it's definitely a relationship and I want God to call me friend! I don't necessarily wanna boast about how close I think I am to God, cuz I can theoretically say anything I want. But what matters most to me is what God says about me. Would he consider us having a relationship or would i be a mere acquaintance? luv this article. makes me yearn for deeper. good job! :-)

Name: Jon
E-mail:
Date posted: August 08, 2009 - 11:49 pm
Message: On point Kevin. I have started a similar journey of "losing my religion" not being so planned, rigid and methodic. Other religions boast of praying to god, to the east, bowing, 5 times a day and so forth. I boast in talking to God all day long and so forth..., I choose relationship over religion.

Name: CNV
E-mail: Private
Date posted: February 10, 2010 - 08:53 am
Message: I am also learning to loose my religion! What a greater journey to God.

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Losing My Religion