Learning to Love My Neighbor

By Kevin Howell

I’ve never been much of an outgoing guy. I wouldn’t say I’m shy or reserved; I’m just selective in my socialization. There are a finite number of people in my social circle, and I’ve been content to keep it that way. Sure, I like meeting new people, but it’s rarely something I seek to do.

I guess it’s because I tend to cling to my comfort zone like Linus clutches his blanket. Taking the initiative to engage a stranger carries a degree of risk since there’s some uncertainty in how he or she will respond. Plus, being consumed with my own life leaves little room to roam into unchartered relationships. However, it’s difficult to reconcile this type of lifestyle with the fundamental directive of my faith — love your neighbor.

Jesus made it simple for His followers. He put aside those 10 commandments that none of us can remember (no matter how many times we’ve watched the Charlton Heston movie), and summed up Christianity in one rule: Love your neighbor as yourself. Fair deal. So why is it so difficult?

Well, for one, neighborhoods aren’t the same as they used to be. Though our neighbors aren’t limited to geographic locale, there is a ‘disconnect’ that starts on our blocks, corners, cul-de-sacs, and apartment complexes. Chances are most of us aren’t home enough to get to know our neighbors, not with 40-plus-hour work weeks, workout sessions at the gym, endless errands, extracurricular activities, and evenings of Wi-Fi at Starbucks. In addition to being overly busy, many of us tend to have a keep-to-myself attitude, so exchanges with our neighbors are limited to a smile and brief greeting, or a drive-by wave that barely acknowledges their existence. That’s how life is in American society now. There are no longer communities, we just live near each other.

HOPE FOR THE NEIGHBORHOOD

It wasn’t always like this. We can all probably recall growing up and playing with other kids on the block, and our parents regularly chatting with the neighbors over the fence, on the stoop, or at a barbeque or block party. A few of my friends who grew up in New York City said in their neighborhoods any parent on the block would discipline them for acting up. Okay, maybe we wouldn’t go for that today, but essentially that’s what a community does. It’s where people don’t just live together, they grow together and look out for one another.

I believe there’s hope for us to recapture the essence of community because I see glimpses of it in our behavior every now and then. Sometimes it takes an unforeseen incident to stoke our compassion. About seven years ago, there was a massive blackout stretching from Michigan to the New York metropolitan area. It was the middle of summer, on the hottest day of the year. But instead of being hot and bothered, people actually banded together. In NYC, where things could’ve gotten chaotic with traffic lights out in the middle of rush hour, drivers were mostly patient and civilians got out of their cars to help direct traffic. At night, people hung out outside with their neighbors instead of sitting in their sweltering apartments. Who knows how many bonds were formed that day? Even recently, when a pre-Christmas snowstorm hammered the Northeast, seeds of community began to sprout as neighbors conversed while digging out their cars and clearing sidewalks.

Despite being a single guy who’s seemingly always on the go, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to foster relationships with my neighbors. I’ve been living in my current neighborhood for four years, and only began to really get to know those living around me recently. In December, I invited a couple that lives above me to my Christmas party. It was just a small gesture of hospitality, but they were absolutely thrilled to come over. That was a lesson for me. It showed me that most people are just waiting for an invite of friendship. They want to connect. They want to expand their social circle. They want community.

I know this to be true because these are my desires as well. It’s not only a desire, but it’s what we’re all called to. We must love our neighbors, not just acknowledge them. This calling goes beyond our neighborhoods and into our work places, hangouts, barber shops, and beauty salons. We were created to love, and in doing so, we display the character of our Creator. Christ has lavished us with an undeserved love. It’s our turn to share it with others.

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Learning to Love My Neighbor